Sunday, April 16, 2006

Desires of the Heart

Sometimes all we can do is what is placed before us.

That's from a book I love. The idea anyway. Maybe God won't tell us, or maybe we just can't hear His voice. So what to do? Only what is put before us. I know what is put before me now. Germany. And my writing. The only problem is what to do with it. My writing, I mean, sure, I can write. But Germany? Germany, aye, that one's different. Germany's kinda, like, an ocean away. So I'm hoping to go on a mission trip there next summer. But what if there isn't one sponsered next summer?

But I trust there will be. What else can I do?

Delight yourself in the LORD
and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Germany is the desire of my heart. God has put it there. It is certainly not of my own doing. Germany, missionary work in general, is not something I would pick for myself. I'm a shy and self-conscious person, I don't interact with people well. Missions is not my thing. But here I am, willing to go to a foreign country, willing to learn the language and culture of this people, because they are embedded in my soul. It's something I couldn't get out of me if I wanted to. But I don't, because a purpose is what every person needs and I have found mine. To live for God. And doing that by learning German, going to Germany, maybe even living there someday. God has planted a desire in my heart and it will not be moved. I will not let it.

Germany and writing are not the only desires I have. One that catches on my heart rather painfully every time I go to a concert. I want to be a drummer. Bad. But for now that is not placed before me and so I leave it. Maybe forever, maybe only for a time. But not all my desires are God's desires and God's will. So I will try to leave it with Him.

One thing you must always remember is that our first desire is always to be God. He says to seek Him first, first, and these things will be added. These things meaning whatever we will need. He'll provide if we only look to Him and trust.

Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.

May He grant you your heart's desires and may you find what you are seeking,

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